In a previous article, Sex and ADHD, one of the things that was suggested in order to be more fully engaged with your partner was to learn to live in the moment.
And that’s true of life in general, not just in the bedroom.
We have ADHD. We tend to let lots of life’s little moments slip by unnoticed. Some of them are worth noticing.
To do that, we need to learn to live in the moment.
So what does that mean, exactly?
It means being aware of what is going on right now - this very second - with you.
What are you doing?
How do you feel?
Do you feel the chair that supports you or the floor that you are standing on?
Are you warm, cold, comfortable?
Now become aware of your heartbeat or your breath.
Listen to what is around you.
Experience this moment in time, without letting your brain jump ahead or jump around. No thinking about what you’re going to do next, or tomorrow. No worrying about whatever. There is just now.
There is a saying in the ADHD community that we perceive time in two ways: now and not now.
We live most of our life in not now when we should be living in now.
So some suggestions on learning to live in the now, whether you’re enjoying time with your partner or otherwise:
Learn to meditate. Used guided or visual meditation. Stop trying to get your mind to be “quiet” and “think of nothing at all”. Ain’t gonna happen. Guided meditation can work. Try it.
Practice focusing on your breath, or the noises around you, or your heartbeat. Try to do it for a whole minute if you can and then work from there.
Take up martial arts, especially ones like Tai Chi.
Or just watch The Karate Kid over and over. Wax on, wax off. Kidding.
Discover your sensual side. You know how much fun it is to go into Bath & Body and smell all the lotions and sprays? You can add that kind of thing to everyday life.
Buy some dishwashing liquid that smells wonderful. You’ll notice and enjoy when you do the dishes. And then maybe you’ll also notice the warmth of the water and how slippery things get. That helps you live in the now.
Start making more of an effort to live in the now instead of not now.
It can make a world of difference in your entire life.