Are You Really You?

I don’t know exactly where this post is going, but feel free to follow along if you like.

I sort of have a few different personalities. I don’t mean like Toni Collette in The United States of Tara; I just mean that I act differently around different people.

Don’t we all?

I mean, you don’t talk to your grandmother the same way you do your girlfriends, do you? Or you don’t talk to your boss or a business associate the way you do when you’re at home. Right?

I’ve always felt like this divided me somehow. Like I should just be me no matter what.

You know that those of us with ADHD have trouble with filters. We don’t always use them, or we don’t use them at all, or we have no idea what a filter is. I’m pretty sure Robin Williams has no filters.

But there is a difference between using filters so that you act appropriately and stifling your entire personality.

My dad (get used to him) is 91 years old and he moved in with us back in July. It was a tough adjustment. Still is.

One of the many gems to come out of his mouth was the fact that I was weird. I was a weird child who caused he and my mother to spend many hours worrying about me. All these years later, I have apparently not learned a thing. I’m still weird.

Now I’ve been married to the same man for almost 34 years. We’re happy. We have three kids that we love and are proud of, and a grandson who’s the light of our life. We both have successful careers and a happy life.

Where’s the weird in that?

Anyway, here’s my point.

As little girls we were taught to be good, to listen, and to mind our manners. Serve yourself last. Take the smallest piece. Say no when you mean yes. (I feel the need to clarify that in this case, it’s about food, not anything else. Sometimes no means no.) Be quiet and polite. Don’t raise your voice.

I could go on, but you get it.

Where does a weird little girl fit into this scenario without drowning her own personality? I don’t know about you, but I think just a little spark of me survived. The real me.

And lately I feel like that weird little girl who’s grown into a pretty smart and interesting woman deserves to come out of hiding. To be who she is. To stop hiding her ADHD and it’s little quirks.

I got a calendar from a friend last year that I absolutely loved. One of the quotes was something like “Trying to be normal all the time is exhausting“.

I’m starting to feel that way.

I think I’m still too young to be one of those eccentric old ladies who does what they please, but I’m warning you….I think that this year you will get to know the real me.

The I’m not in business school me.

The I’m going to coach you like you were my friend instead of my “client” cause that way I can be upfront and honest. It feels more authentic.

Bottom line?

I encourage you to let your weird little girl out too and be who you really are.

Oh, and I’ve got a new coaching program coming up that I’m very excited about. The reason that I’m excited is because I’m doing it differently.

You’re going to meet the real me, weirdness and all. And I want to meet the real you. Because really, how can we make any true progress if we’re hiding behind our “be a lady and be perfect masks”?

Let’s not be ashamed of our true selves anymore. Let’s let our real, authentic light shine.

More to follow.

This was a little hard to write.

Are you leaving forever cause I’m weird, or are you willing to stick around and see what I have to say?

And can you relate?

About Brenda Nicholson

I am an ADHD Expert, Coach, and Consultant. I want you to learn how to celebrate your life with ADHD too.

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